Coming out

Coming out
August 10, 4:01AM Atlanta Lesbian Relationship Examiner Leslie Davis

I agree with Leslie and many others who view coming out as a process, although, I would like to make the following points.

I believe that

Coming out is not mandatory, it is your choice

Each of us makes decisions in life, some good, and some poorly timed.

The guiding question here is “what is best for me at this time?”

The only recommendation is to come out to you first, always be honest with yourself.

Gay, Lesbian or bisexual are labels referring to a person’s sexual identity

Some people use these labels however, it is your right to accept, reject or adapt these in labelling yourself.

At no time does anybody else have the right to label you or out you.

Only ever, use labels that you feel comfortable with and that fit.

Sometimes it maybe better not to use any labels, which is also ok.

Never get same-sex attraction mixed up with being Gay, Lesbian or bisexual

Same-sex attraction refers to have feelings of sexual attraction towards another member of the same gender identity.

Teenagers often get themselves egg bound over this one people find others attractive for many different reasons.

It does not mean you are gay people have many different kinds of relationships, which fulfil personal needs.

However, the guiding principles here

Be respectful of yourself

Be honest with your partner.

Practice safe sex

Act safe

Positive support from family and friends is always important

Otherwise reach out for help you’re not alone

Coming Out Early: the Fight to Help LGBT Youth

Coming out early: the fight to help LGBT youth | Feature Story on 365gay.com

The story speaks to a real crisis in the US for teens who identify as LGBT, this situation may simply reflect the inadequate welfare supports systems. However, I am interested in the experiences of Australian teens who identify, please read the story.

It would not be drawing a long bow in stating that for any person, adolescences is a time of transition from childhood towards adulthood in most societies. During which we grow in all dimensions of which we are, subsequently emerging into adulthood as a butterfly.  However, it is also a time of much personal angst and self-doubt, if not parented appropriately could cause considerable psychological emotional and social damage whose affects may last a lifetime.  Then if we consider kids, who identify as Same Sex Attraction Transgender and/or Intersex the level of confusion seems to go up a level.

This entry looks at

The Saskatchewan Court of Queen’s Bench upheld the decision of the Saskatchewan Human Rights Commission tribunal in Nichols v. M.J. & Saskatchewan Human Rights Commission, 2009 SKQB 299.

Society and kids

In this self-obsessed world somehow we freely abdicate our responsibility for raising kids to experts, denounce under resourced parents or even blame the child. Kids are no longer adults on trainer wheels but an accumulation of social problems solved through clinical, criminal justice and/or interventions. Some pop psychologist labelled them as aliens, dangerous and a threat hence becoming The Other. Unless it is your child then this false crisis becomes a reality a strange mix of soap opera, hormones and duelling egos. However, there is nothing new here in this conflict of cultures mostly it seems promoted by music bands and tee shirt venders to promote merchandise sales. While some developmental experts (i.e.  Erik Erikson William Damon) argues the conflict between parent/authority & adolescent is a health part of the young person’s transition. What is really happening parents feed on a diet of the alien in their midst, kids told that it is all about challenging what is and some ask why it is so and then both being punished for not being normal.

Rainbow Nation kids

Hey, Mum & Dad meet my boyfriend, what did you say Jason.

What would your response be if your son or daughter identified as Same Sex Attraction, or there was some conflict between their biological and gender identity?

The real issues faced by young people who identify are the same as those faced by all kids.  However, there are additional issues what may be youthful experimentation may turn into something more critical

I.e.

• Crisis of not being normal  not being the same
• Passive non-acceptance  active rejection i.e. by self, family and/or friends
• Social Rejection Social Isolation Loneliness
• Poor Self-concept – Reduced Self-esteem – Self-hatred
• Violence – Bullying
• Poverty – Homelessness – Prostitution
• Mental Disorder – Social Anxiety Depression Substance Abuse
• Machismo Aggression

Alphabet Soup Youth

Rainbow Alley: a trans-friendly resource for youth in Denver

The article speaks to the increased number of younger Alphabet soup people who are outing themselves. It discusses a resouce for young people  in Denver Col USA, where young people who identify can readily access support and resources in helping them make some sense of their experiences. The article highlights the shock often experienced by parents (even those progressive thinking ones), when their child comes out to them.

It cites to a post byPeggy Drexler

titled “When Gay Comes Home”Posted: July 7, 2009 05:26 PM

that discuses this topic further on.

If your child came out how would you react?