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All posts for the month August, 2009

10 Questions You Must Ask a Gay Person

Published August 29, 2009 by Michael C Leeson

Photobucket

There is nothing wrong with asking questions, this is the most common way we learn from others. An associate of mine Sora Ryu compiled the following list of common  types of questions asked by heterosexuals to non-heterosexuals. The response here reflect my views alone

When did you turn Gay?

I turned gay about the same age you turned heterosexual

  • We are born who we are there is no normal or deviant
  • Freud view was that, the majority of people are born bisexual and through socialisation forced to comply with the heterosexual norm then who does turn what.
  • We all go through a process its called adolescence, when we explore and start naming our self.
  • Sexual identity is fluid , some choose to name it and others do not
  • Sexual practices is only but one aspect of sexual identity

2 Were you born gay?

  • People are sexual beings form birth
  • Gay is a subjective social label like straight bi or asexual it describes a person’s sexual identity or sexual orientation identity .
  • Some argue that the great Nature V Nurture debate, the final score will always be a draw
  • I have family members who are gay bi. and straight

3 Should Gay People be accepted?

Why not would be my automatic reply?

  • Why reject people because of who they for some arbitrary reason think about what you may be missing?
  • At this time in history, we have fully realised the reality of social diversity, it happens in our everyday life and in continuing to deny this, we are only fooling ourselves
  • We are all different the only common bond is our humanity and in sharing this we become stronger healthier and more fulfilled.
  • For Christians show me in your teachings where Jesus showed hate towards another because of who they were

4 Were you abused as a child?

No

  • The inference being that sexual abuse is somehow a precursor to being Gay.
  • Another myth
  • Some children experience abuse as a child and they may or may not identify as being Gay later as adults.

5. Why are parents always the last to know that their kid is Gay?

Actually, my Mum knew before I did

  • Coming out is the Gay version of adolescence
  • It is an adjustment process that may take a life time
  • The first person you come out to is yourself, then a sibling or trusted friend, as your acceptance of self grows you come out to more people.
  • It comes down to confidence and overcoming the fear of rejection by the most important people in your life parents.
  • Then more often than not they already know
  • Parental love is unconditional

Parents often have their own fears around

  • Your welfare – we have a community – violence
  • You being some sort of social outcast – we have lovers, partners and even get married
  • Never being grandparents – IVF or surrogacy
  • Some become embarrass – what will the neighbours think  – like I am the only queen in town
  • What they really want is for you to be happy

Some parents reject their child because of his or her sexual identity

  • This is more about the parent’s issues than the child
  • Stereotypes get in the way here – around mythical gender roles – we are all individuals
  • Parents also reject their heterosexual child
  • Conflict with parent’s belief system – which love is more important

6. Do you think you will ever regret being gay?

No

Regret what being myself?

7 Were you ever attracted to the opposite sex?

Yes, then and now, sexy people are sexy people?

  • Do you mean would I have sex with some one of the opposite sex? No

8. Maybe you haven’t found the right person of the opposite sex yet?

  • This is more about Gay being a phase ie all I need is the right woman
  • I already have a Mum and wives for most heterosexuals seem to act as a proxy for their mum
  • I am queer, why would I be looking for a romantic relationship with a woman unless I was a Lesbian or bisexual?

9. How do you know you are gay if you have not had sex with anyone?

I think at my age I know about having sex with people

  • We have sex with people for many different reasons and it is more about personal need
  • Sexuality is fluid
  • Sometimes we experiment either same/same or opposites attract
  • The only rule here is play it safe or be careful

10. What is it like to be gay?

I am me loud, proud queer and here

  • We are people
  • We are your Mother, Father,  Son, Daughter, Brother, Sister, friend, neighbour associate
  • We are you
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Death of Sen. Ted Kennedy – Lion of the Left

Published August 26, 2009 by Michael C Leeson

A champion for the people of the margin

“The work begins anew. The hope rises again. And the dream lives on,”

Statement from the Kennedy Family August 26, 2009

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

“Edward M. Kennedy – the husband, father, grandfather, brother and uncle we loved so deeply – died late Tuesday night at home in Hyannis Port.   We’ve lost the irreplaceable center of our family and joyous light in our lives, but the inspiration of his faith, optimism, and perseverance will live on in our hearts forever.   We thank everyone who gave him care and support over this last year, and everyone who stood with him for so many years in his tireless march for progress toward justice, fairness and opportunity for all.  He loved this country and devoted his life to serving it.   He always believed that our best days were still ahead, but it’s hard to imagine any of them without him.”

The White House

Senate Office

John F. Kennedy Presidential Library

As reported by

Sen. Ted Kennedy dies at 77 – The CNN Wire – CNN.com Blogs

ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

BBC NEWS

Ted Kennedy, ‘Lion of the Senate,’ helped shape American politics – CNN.com

HuffyPo


100 Ways To Live A Better Life

Published August 24, 2009 by Michael C Leeson

100 Ways To Live A Better Life

My Top 30

1. Accept Your Mistakes

In accepting out humanity, we can grow. In accepting our mistakes is the only way to make them disappear.

2. Build Self Discipline

Self-discipline is a facilitator for many things in life. It is hard to get but great to have.

3. Keep a Journal

Write down your feelings, your ideas, your goals, and your activity.

4. Find Reasons to Agree

In finding common ground with others, you may find even more allies than enemies.

6. Start a Blog

Blog it, giver breath to your passion in being creative

7. Be Better, Not Perfect

Accept your humanity strive to improve who you are by being better at what you do.

8. Stop Self-Sabotage

We can nurture our sense of failure by not having a go. Stop it.

9. Try Something New

Success comes from having a go & learning from any mistakes.

10. Stop Wasting Your Power

Be creative and constructive through your actions

11. Recycle Your Aggression

Aggression is an energy that can be used to drive your passion

12. Stop Being Judgemental

Accept others & you will learn to accept yourself

13. Say Something Nice To You

Self validation – reaffirms your self worth

14. Don’t Argue, Win or Lose

Work towards seeking the middle ground of consensus

15. Define Goals

In having defined aims & objects, you have a road map for life

16. Help Others

In giving to others, we can find meaning for you

17. Spend Some Time Alone

In being comfortable with our self, we find the foundations for every other relationship we have

18. Stop Complaining

Act to address the issue, criticism is an observation that needs action not words  

19. Laugh

Is the music of life it nurtures the soul and opens many hearts & doors?

20. Go with Passion

Is the fuel for the soul, we can find greater meaning in life when going with our passion

21. Trust Your Emotions

They give you feedback on any situation

22. Stop Being a Follower

Be yourself and go with your strengths in leading through example

23. Watch Your Beliefs

Self-awareness is the first step towards changing your beliefs, which shape your life

24. Stop Lying

Be honest with yourself and others

25. Stop Reacting To Stuff

Always respond in a reasoned way to things

26. Live Today

Living in the present or here and now, often we are stuck by

27. Expect the Unexpected

Attitude is everything the unexpected is an opportunity waiting to grab

28. Enjoy

Do what you enjoy & enjoy what you do

29. Love

Unconditionally

30. Get Rid Of Labels

Things are what they are. Do not use labels anymore, use directly the things?

31. No Regrets

Regret best left in the pass and not brought into the present

Social Inclustion: A Queer Australian Issue

Published August 23, 2009 by Michael C Leeson

After reading a blog entry by the Rainbow Reporter where he gives some commentary on LGBT issues, and the Rudd Government’s Social Inclusion Agenda especially on his disappointment concerning this matter. Before proceeding this Government is a classic 3rd way Labor centralist regime in the Australian Liberal Democratic tradition with a work is welfare mentality.  Their Social Inclusion Agenda reflects that position, it is heavy on rhetoric funnelled towards maintaining the workforce. Further to this, it seems there is some consideration of issues affecting indigenous peoples and people from non-English speaking background.  However based on the record of accomplishment of previous administrations although overall it is about economic disadvantage and how Government and its’ collaborates can better address related issues i.e. poverty, housing, health and education/training.

How does this relate to the LGBTI issues specifically Government seems silent? The author does highlight three points that really need further consideration in his commentary.

  • Apparent limited availability of Australian social research on Qmunity issues
  • A need for better Qmunity consultation and increased representation
  • There is a need for greater consideration of Issues faced by Qmunity youth

I do not agree with the casual racial analysis of the taskforces membership by the author however I do agree that there are significant issues still to be addressed.

Bill Mann: Here’s a Handy List of Fox News Enablers/Advertisers

Published August 22, 2009 by Michael C Leeson

Bill Mann: Here’s a Handy List of Fox News Enablers/Advertisers

These companies sponsor Fox News

AARP Medicare Supplemental Insurance
Amway Global
“Anything Goes” CD
Audi Diesel
BMW
Baron & Budd P.C.
Benadryl
Binder & Binder
Broadview Security
Bush’s Baked Beans
Capitalone.com
Celadrin (joint health)
Chef Michael’s Canine Creations
Chevrolet
Citracal
Direct-TV
Dove Deep Moisturizer
Easy Water (water softener)
Expedia
Fidelity Investments
Ford Motor
FreeCreditReport.com
Geico
Goldline International
Gotomeeting.com
HSBC Life Insurance
HealthMart Pharmacy
Lear Capital (gold)
LensCrafters
Liberty Medical
Lincoln (autos)
Loan Modification Help Line
NFL Sunday Ticket
Nextel
NutriSystem
Pearle Vision
Quicken Loans
Re-Bath remodelers
Red Lobster
Scottrade
Slap Chop (kitchen device)
Smart Balance
Trvaelocity
USPS Priority Mail Flat-Rate Box
Verizon Wireless
Vonage
Walmart
ZeroWater (water tester)
Zyrtec

When questioning sex?

Published August 21, 2009 by Michael C Leeson

Comment: Speculation over athlete’s sex has brought trans issues into the open – from Pink News – all the latest gay news from the gay community – Pink News

Summary of article

South African sprinter Caster Semenya’s the world is now waiting to see if she is truly a woman, the article give commentary on the controversy about this athletes sex i.e. male female or something in between.  The commentator argues that this story puts gender and Trans issues in the spotlight in particular the

“Mass media reporting on gender identity issues is sensationalist, prurient and tinged with faint disgust. Tabloid treatment of those who seek to change gender often portrays them as freaks and, especially in the case of male-to-female transitions, deviants.” It cites how a number of newspapers have run lengthy articles discussing how sex is medically classified and explaining the spectrum of disorders of sexual development, from intersexuality and Klinefelter’s Syndrome to congenital adrenal hyperplasia.

It makes the following key points

  • Many people, including some in the medical profession, view issues such as gender dysphoria as mental illnesses.
  • What sex, in the biological sense, actually is? Is it an outward physical construct, a question of chromosomes, a mental state?
  • Some female athletes over the years have been found to be chromosomally male, despite identifying and being classed in all other respects as female.
  • Some gender theorists believe the concept of gender should be abolished but in sectors such as sport, it is difficult to see how this can be done.

What I believe

When speaking on either sex or gender we are talking about complex and interacting biological and social factors that constitute our identity.

Increasingly it seems that when defining either sex or gender, it is heavily shaped by our perceptions or how we understand something to be.

While sex has biological roots, a simplistic heteronormative dyadic worldview heavily defines it, either as male or female and sees any other as deviant requiring medical or scientific intervention.

Gender is a social construct, which changes over time and from location to location i.e. how a man or woman understood himself, or herself in 1940’s Australia is completely different to now. Alternately, how a man or woman understands himself or herself in Nukuʻalofa when compared to a citizen of Paris.

A rule of thumb often applied is that the individual defines their gender and out of respect, we validate their view.

The view that gender categories have little real value other than to maintain social inequity really needs further consideration, because of their centrality in allowing some to define themselves in the Qmunity.

Are these categories a necessary evil?

Coming out

Published August 20, 2009 by Michael C Leeson

Coming out
August 10, 4:01AM Atlanta Lesbian Relationship Examiner Leslie Davis

I agree with Leslie and many others who view coming out as a process, although, I would like to make the following points.

I believe that

Coming out is not mandatory, it is your choice

Each of us makes decisions in life, some good, and some poorly timed.

The guiding question here is “what is best for me at this time?”

The only recommendation is to come out to you first, always be honest with yourself.

Gay, Lesbian or bisexual are labels referring to a person’s sexual identity

Some people use these labels however, it is your right to accept, reject or adapt these in labelling yourself.

At no time does anybody else have the right to label you or out you.

Only ever, use labels that you feel comfortable with and that fit.

Sometimes it maybe better not to use any labels, which is also ok.

Never get same-sex attraction mixed up with being Gay, Lesbian or bisexual

Same-sex attraction refers to have feelings of sexual attraction towards another member of the same gender identity.

Teenagers often get themselves egg bound over this one people find others attractive for many different reasons.

It does not mean you are gay people have many different kinds of relationships, which fulfil personal needs.

However, the guiding principles here

Be respectful of yourself

Be honest with your partner.

Practice safe sex

Act safe

Positive support from family and friends is always important

Otherwise reach out for help you’re not alone