We are talking about heterosexual men who have sex with other men we are not talking about Gay, Bisexual or closeted men. Joe Kort a psychotherapist compiled the list below in an attempt to identify the many reasons heterosexual men have sex with other men, it is included here purely for your consideration on this topic. However, it is a limited consideration because its’ clinical focus, it seemingly pathologies sexuality. It seemingly assumes that if a man engages in a sexual activity otherwise inconsistent with his expressed sexual orientation , this is somehow deviant requiring clinical intervention. My concern being a denial of human sexual diversity and that the individual has to remain confined to a set of acknowledge behaviours consistent with certain labels. Admittedly, if the man finds his own behaviour problematic and seeks change then this clinical approach may be appropriate.
Whatever the reason be respectful of you and others, forget the guilt and play safe
- Sexual Abuse
- Homosexual Imprinting
- Men who are sex workers/male escorts –
- Sex for Money
- Men seeking intensely arousing but shameful experiences – the forbidden fruit
- First Sexual Experience
- High Sex Drive – any hole will do
- Availability/Opportunity – boys will be boys
- Father Hunger
- Narcissism –
- Sexual Addiction
- Sex in Prison
- BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Sadism & Masochism)
- Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
by Joe Kort, MSW copyright 2004
Do we need to redefine masculinity?
What does this mean for men who identify as Gay?
What does this mean for closeted men?
Why do we medicalize human diversity?
When do we embrace sexual diviersity?
Words, Words, Words, these building blocks of communication can be used in many ways i.e. to express love, to incite conflict, to convey ideas, and state disrespect. The use of language is important because words have immense power they define our cultural reality within the relationships that make us human. Words are the means by which we communicate with each other in many different positive and negative ways i.e. to express love, discriminate, share ideas, show disrespect and enforce social values. In recent history, we have become more sensitive to power of words Government reflects this social shift in its dealings with cultural groups. It has established formal guidelines in the form of policy & procedures, legislation and the law. These guidelines relate to appropriate ways in undertaking a respectful dialogue with an identified cultural group. However, cultural conflicts exist in a complex society like ours we can see it playing out in everyday life, mass media, and some political commentary or more subtle in other mainstream culture.
The notion that words represent real power and as such language or the use of language be it spoken, written or otherwise transmitted is not an original idea. However, this point while relevant the source post-modernity or critical –modernity seems peripheral. Hence to be aware that with every statement made we convey some form of authority or power. Quiet often it draws on some i.e. moral authority, political ideology or something an elder relative imparted on you as wisdom. If somebody said to you, I wish you were dead or I hate you, then if you held the person in esteem like a parent, how would this make you feel. This happens when someone discloses his or her gender identity, further compounded by a society that in the main denies his or her right to exist. However, upon this disclosure they become members of a great Rainbow nation , that often freely reaches out in support.
Let us just think about whether you have ever been attracted to a member of your own sex. Be brave nobody has to know about the details, the only thing been asked is for you to be honest with yourself. Have you fantasised about having a sexual adventure with someone of your own sex. It would not be as if you are the first person to do so, in fact some may argue it is health to do so. Personally, I agree, however do not get hooked up on guilt or fear that it is somehow abnormal to have these feelings and in some cases act on them. It would be unhealthy not to, if you act to repress these feelings it can lead to disaster. Alternately sometimes, we do have to play it safe in real life, but that does not mean you need to deny your personal fantasises.
Homer Simpson once said facts mean nothing they can be used to prove anything this is one of those attempts. It is a sad commentary on mankind that at the beginning of the 21st century we still find the ignorant advocating hate. This article speaks to that hate in reflecting how the ignorant seek to use misinformation through generalisations fuzz maths and testimony of experts. It tries to develop some argument about a conspiracy to usurp the “natural” order of heterosexism. The tact used being to prove homosexuality is not biologically determined in using selective texts to support the author’s opinion. This argument loses traction when citing the APA, the quote simply says several factors and their interaction may or may not influence the development of an individual’s sexuality including heterosexuality. This point slipped by the author that heterosexuality may or may not be determined by biological factors. The point highlights that sexuality has no biological hierarchy or more or less legitimacy than any other. I believe like most things in nature sexuality occurs along a spectrum and reductionism has no place other than to fuel the vitriol of the ignorant